Heyyyyyyy......
Feb. 22nd, 2026 04:35 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
therealtrashI had such unhealth days lately. I spend most of the day sleeping, eating poorly, and staying up until 8 am sometimes. I have so many plans, but I can't carry them out because I'm always tired, and at dawn, which is the only time I can be more awake, I can only concentrate on one thing at a time. For example, I have several art projects, but I can't dedicate myself to most of them rn. Then, today, when I finally managed to sleep properly at night, I woke up with my stomach twisted and threw up my guts out in my bathroom. Yeah, the first vomit of 2026. Now I just have to wait for the first cry. My health has never been the great. Sometimes it's reasonable, but it's never been great! I don't know what to do to have a healthier life. I've tried so many times, but I've always failed. And, coupled with many of my mental health problems, I feel like I'm half-awake all the time, or like I'm dead and someone is controlling my body, making me do the same things every day. It's been difficult figuring out how to leave this life, but I still have hope. I mean... this is a little cringe and it sounds like I'm an Undertale fan (I really am), but yeah, I'll try my best, I swear.
(I'm feeling kinda high as I write this, so don't strange if smth I say doesn't make much sense. Also, I don't do drugs, I'm just feeling a little weak from vomiting). So... about my lack of posts, I apologize to those who still enjoy reading my blog, but I think what I said before explains everything... as I said, I'm working on many projects. It's kinda a curse to have such a creative mind cause you're always thinking on smth, and I'm lazy af! So, yeah, I have to finish the third chapter of a story about people that time forgot (I think that's the name... man, I'm so pathetic for not remembering the name of my own work, lol), but don't worry! This project is very important to me and it's just begun, so it still has a long way to go. I haven't abandoned it, guys! And... I'm trying my best to finish the short Valentine's Day spin-off of my comic book that I still intend to do, and now that I'm saying this, I realize how strange and disorganized my way of working is, but ok. I'm also focused on a personal story that's going very well so far, to the point that it makes me think that maybe one day I'll release it to the world, but I think it's difficult because of the several controversial/sensitive themes, but many of my projects already have that, so what can I do?! It's already a trait of my stories. And... what else was I going to say?
Oh, some things you can expect me to talk about later, nothing new really... maybe I'll talk about my struggles with my identity, whether I'll ever have the courage to tell my family I'm trans or if I'll keep it a secret until I'm 18, the uncomfortable feelings that arise with some family members after discovering something about their past that starts to distort how we saw them, difficulties with change, strange dreams, possible bipolar disorder...? and many other stupid things that have been going through my head lately.
And I know I sound like a beggar asking for alms, but I feel the need to say that I'm now on Newgrounds (maxnatanmoorvos). Haha, yeah... I'm in the place I feared most. Tbh, I've heard that Newgrounds is a weird place, full of creepy people, and maybe it's true, but in my experience so far, I've only met nice people who praised my art. And, in my sincerest opinion, This description fits much more Twitter nowadays. 💀 Anyway, you don't need to go see my stuff and my 9999 links (/j), I'm just saying this because... I don't know, I like posting art there. If you want to see it, you can, I guess... I'M NOT A BEGGAR (small artist) ASKING FOR MONEY (attention)!!!
So... the conclusion you can draw from this is... I'll be back, guys! Trust me! Also, my keyboard theme is artwork of Nia on a red background with some religious allusions, (I guess so), that I found on I Can't Sleep's Patreon. What's the relevance of that? None! I just wanted to say cause i like this art.
(I'm feeling kinda high as I write this, so don't strange if smth I say doesn't make much sense. Also, I don't do drugs, I'm just feeling a little weak from vomiting). So... about my lack of posts, I apologize to those who still enjoy reading my blog, but I think what I said before explains everything... as I said, I'm working on many projects. It's kinda a curse to have such a creative mind cause you're always thinking on smth, and I'm lazy af! So, yeah, I have to finish the third chapter of a story about people that time forgot (I think that's the name... man, I'm so pathetic for not remembering the name of my own work, lol), but don't worry! This project is very important to me and it's just begun, so it still has a long way to go. I haven't abandoned it, guys! And... I'm trying my best to finish the short Valentine's Day spin-off of my comic book that I still intend to do, and now that I'm saying this, I realize how strange and disorganized my way of working is, but ok. I'm also focused on a personal story that's going very well so far, to the point that it makes me think that maybe one day I'll release it to the world, but I think it's difficult because of the several controversial/sensitive themes, but many of my projects already have that, so what can I do?! It's already a trait of my stories. And... what else was I going to say?
Oh, some things you can expect me to talk about later, nothing new really... maybe I'll talk about my struggles with my identity, whether I'll ever have the courage to tell my family I'm trans or if I'll keep it a secret until I'm 18, the uncomfortable feelings that arise with some family members after discovering something about their past that starts to distort how we saw them, difficulties with change, strange dreams, possible bipolar disorder...? and many other stupid things that have been going through my head lately.
And I know I sound like a beggar asking for alms, but I feel the need to say that I'm now on Newgrounds (maxnatanmoorvos). Haha, yeah... I'm in the place I feared most. Tbh, I've heard that Newgrounds is a weird place, full of creepy people, and maybe it's true, but in my experience so far, I've only met nice people who praised my art. And, in my sincerest opinion, This description fits much more Twitter nowadays. 💀 Anyway, you don't need to go see my stuff and my 9999 links (/j), I'm just saying this because... I don't know, I like posting art there. If you want to see it, you can, I guess... I'M NOT A BEGGAR (small artist) ASKING FOR MONEY (attention)!!!
So... the conclusion you can draw from this is... I'll be back, guys! Trust me! Also, my keyboard theme is artwork of Nia on a red background with some religious allusions, (I guess so), that I found on I Can't Sleep's Patreon. What's the relevance of that? None! I just wanted to say cause i like this art.
