The fabulous and disastrous mind of Erick León's vessel aka Max Natan

Before I start, I want to clarify that my last few entries have been pretty weird, haven't they? Well, I apologize if this broke the rhythm of the journal, but sometimes I want to write, but I can't think of anything, so I do whatever pops into my head, lol. Well, 2025 is almost over, and I'm kind of in awe of it. Like, the years are flying by so fast, aren't they? Maybe it's what people often say, the effect of the pandemic, I don't know. But personally, I think this year was shorter than 2024 and 2023 (I won't count 2022 and the pandemic years because I have a terrible memory to remember them, and they just don't exist for me). Anyway, 2024 was the best year for me because it was from late 2023 - early 2024 that I finally started expressing who I am, and I had a lot of fun in 2024. But 2025 isn't going as well for me compared to my favorite year. Something I started doing this year was joining an art group, more specifically a painting one. But not online, it's in real life, where I have to interact with other people who are right in front of me. Well... I have problems with social anxiety, I already joined a group that was focused on dealing with social anxiety, where I met other teenagers like me and it had a lot of fun, but it seems like I forgot everything I learned, wtf!! Ok, ok... it's not exactly that I forgot, it's just that I haven't had many social interactions with other people my age since that group ended. (No, school doesn't count for me because most of the things I get at school are traumas)! And I'm trying to act cool to the people in my group, but the impostor inside me tells me I look stupid lmao. Well, I'm trying, guys! I swear I don't hate you guys, I'm just a little shy to start a conversation!! Anyway (I just realized I repeat some words like "anyway" a lot, Jesus Christ), when this year is over, I'm going to a group focused on making friends. Yes, social anxiety, you won't rest!! There's a really nice girl in my art group, she's a ballerina, and I think that's cool. :} There's also a guy who really likes to talk and makes me a little embarrassed when he talks to me, but he's also nice, and he likes Deltarune omg! the girl is going to be in the new group i guess and i'm not sure about the guy. but even if they don't, i will try my best to occupy my mind more, so i don't have to feel this sensation year is going fast. i just need to don't charge me so much and got overwhelmed because this happens a lot, lol. i hope 2026 it's a good year. :)











Also, an unrelated thing, my psychologist said she thinks I'm autistic, and I've been thinking about it a lot recently. But I think it's a kinda cool thing, Idk lol. have a good night!