Smile, cry, breath, laugh, live...

I took a break, but I didn't really. I took a break from writing my thoughts, I just allowed myself to feel. I trough some difficult moments, but I started expressing myself more in other art forms. I felt alone, but I met awesome and welcoming communities. I felt my art sucks, but I kept posting, even if not everyone always see it. I felt pressure not to make mistakes, but I'm human, and I met other humans who made me feel better for being myself. This made me stop for a while and think about the side of me that I wasn't seeing. I made friends, and I'm grateful for that. Even you guys who still read my posts, you are my friends (if you allow me to call you that). I continue to make art, in good times and bad. This allows me to have a different perspective on a work in each situation. Not everything needs to be beautiful and perfect. I make art, but I spend many time on it, I feel perfectionism, I get confused with my own life, I cry, but I also laugh. It's so confusing and somewhat frustrating that things never become clear to me, why they happen and change so quickly. Sometimes I feel like my feelings don't make sense, but they don't need to. Humans don't need to make sense. Life doesn't need to make sense. Sense Life is a great Brazilian manga. I don't even know what I'm talking about anymore. I'm just grateful that there are still people who care about me. And yes, I still struggle with depression, ever since I've known myself. And I don't think that will suddenly change, but I met some people who seemed to be in a worse or similar situation than me and I thought: "Even though I'm feeling bad rn, there's still a amber inside me that wants to help this person." And that makes me want to help myself too. But I'm not comparing myself to other people. Comparing your suffering to that of others is very cruel and unfair.

Anyway, I wasn't planning on writing anything today, I just wanted to express this weird feeling. Now I'm gonna sleep because I'm tired. I love you all.